Disability Parking, Casual Ableism and Me

For many people, the thought of not being able to walk from the car into a business never crosses their mind. Walking is something that happens naturally for them, without pain and impairment. It's a different world for those of us with disabilities that hinder mobility. We face the daily reality of not knowing if we can make it to the grocery store and still be able to walk back to the car. When this happens enough, many of us talk to our doctors and get documentation to allow for a disabled parking placard.

Disabled parking placards are a huge boon to those of us suffering from illnesses which impact our mobility, yet for many, there's a huge stigma using one in public. The common perception is that only the elderly or those with paralysis are "worthy" of parking in disabled spaces, leaving those of us with invisible disabilities prey to the nosy eyes of other shoppers. I've received innumerable glares as I exit the car, a seemingly healthy 21 year old woman, albeit one with a cane. I've even gotten some verbal hate; one distraught man in a big-box store parking lot frantically told my driver and I that I couldn't use my tag because it was "only for wheelchairs."

In the past, I've ignored these disapproving stares and comments, but ignoring this casual ableism only allows it to continue. Here's my "action plan" for the next time I get blue-tag hate.

1. Do not feel shameful using the parking tag. The doctor agreed that it was necessary for a reason, but often I feel ashamed using my placard, and try to avoid using it in all but the biggest of parking lots. However, this often leads to an exhausting walk to and from the store which can zap away a whole day's worth of spoons. I'm learning I should feel more ashamed of harming myself by not using the tag than I should for using it. Of course I long for the day when it isn't needed anymore, but until then, it's a resource to use to my advantage.

2. Do not act shameful using the parking tag. In the past, I've avoided making eye contact with the people when I use my parking tag. It's easy to feel inferior under the icy stares, but a meek posture only helps them assume that I'm doing something wrong. Walking with a head held high helps to show I'm not ashamed of my disability and I deserve that parking spot.

3. Do not ignore the judgement. When people glare or say stupid ablist things, it's easy to just roll your eyes and brush it off, but this doesn't educate people or incite change. By engaging in a dialogue with a blue-tag hater, I can begin to pass along information about invisible illness, rheumatoid arthritis, and the necessity of not judging based on appearances. Admittedly, this is easier said than done, but I'm confident that in the future I'll be able to have a polite confrontation. (And certainly, the prednisone "roid rage" makes this easier...)