Silly Silver Linings

Chronic pain is an ugly, black rhinoceros of a cloud, like in Tim Burton's adaptation of Roald Dahl's, "James and the Giant Peach." Pain clouds our perspective, separates us from our loved ones, and sometimes forces us to the pits of despair. That's just what unrelenting pain is like.

Every cloud has a silver lining.

There are lots of big-ticket lessons that can be learned quicker due to dealing with chronic pain, but none of them necessarily required suffering pain to learn. Compassion, advocacy, empathy, activism... chronic pain may lead you there quicker, but there are plenty of other ways to get there too. It’s impossible for me to say that I haven’t learned a lot from my disease, but I certainly could have learned most of those things vicariously.

However, there are some things I absolutely would never have learned if not dealing with autoimmune arthritis. I never would have needed too. Silly things. Practical things. They certainly don’t make up for a life of pain, but here are some of the silver linings and lessons I never would have had without chronic pain.


1. Chronic illness makes you amazing at filling out forms. I have filled out so many forms since getting sick that I can figure out and complete almost any form like a machine. Sure, maybe there are other ways to get good at filling out forms, but by and large, healthy people don’t ever experience the variety and depth of forms that sick people do. Not only are there the medical history forms (which each doctor wants done individually, even though many medical history forms ask exactly the same question), personal symptom forms, and the corresponding insurance forms, but also a myriad of government forms if you need to utilize any public assistance. These forms then force you to familiarize yourself with all of the tax forms. There are accommodation forms if you’re physically able to work or go to school, disability forms if or when you’re not.

2. Having hand pain has taught me a million different ways to manage writing. Particularly my signature. I can give a passable signature using either hand, with my fingertip, with my fingers but without moving my hand or wrist and using my shoulders, with a pen stuck between any of my fingers, and occasionally with my right foot. I’ve learned three different types of computer dictation software, and experienced what it’s like dictating to a real person. I’ve tried non-standard keyboard configurations to try and help make typing easier (though my mind can’t escape QWERTY). Never would have tried any of these if I didn’t have to, which goes hand in hand (pun intended) with the filling out forms thing.

3. Having a cane means you always have a great resource with you. This would be even more true if you carry a sword cane, but even the standard aluminum ones (like I have) are pretty darn handy. For tasks that don’t need much dexterity, a cane easily doubles your reach—perfect for sliding things to you when you need them. It can be rolled across sore muscles for a cooling massage. It’s a great tool for stretching. It makes me feel safer knowing I could use it to defend myself. It kills spiders.

4. The health-related contents of my purse can save people in emergencies big and small. After years with no doctors really helping me, I’ve developed a compact OTC arsenal that I keep with me: Excedrin, aspirin, ibuprofen, Benadryl, antacids, etc. I always have snacks and water because they’re needed to take medication with. Also on deck are hand sanitizer, alcohol wipes and a rubber glove, because periods of being immunocompromised leave you terrified of germs. Portable hot-packs meant for outdoorsmen because they’re great for sore joints. Matches for after tummy troubles. Basically, my daily needs are what other people need in a disaster.

5. My body has become an almost entirely accurate meteorologist. It can predict fluctuations in barometric pressure and humidity with astounding precision. It always lets me know when to bring a jacket, or an umbrella. Or if an event is going to be rained out. I wish there was a way to market this knowledge to the TV meteorologists; the locals would be happier and I could use the funds!